


Comfort In Your Presence

by FallenAngelAndPie



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-12-13
Updated: 2013-12-13
Packaged: 2018-01-04 12:33:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,490
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1081061
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FallenAngelAndPie/pseuds/FallenAngelAndPie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>*Minor spoilers*<br/>After the season 9 mid-season finale, Dean had prayed to Castiel, hoping that now, with Castiel's grace semi-restored, he could hear him again.<br/>Cas hops on a bus and makes his way to the bunker to help Dean cope with Kevin's death and what to do about the Sam/Gadriel situation.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Comfort In Your Presence

Castiel made his way back to the bunker shortly after Sam, or Gadriel, had left, leaving Dean alone with Kevin's lifeless body.  Having stolen that other angel's grace, Cas had heard Dean's prayer to him.  Unable to zap himself into the bunker due to the lack of wings, he phoned Dean.  He wasn't too far and would be able to make it there by the next morning.

"You don't have to come, man.  You've got a war to fight," Dean had said, his voice noticable cracking as he tried to hold back his tears.

"You're my friend, Dean, and I believe this is what friends do, be with each other in times of grief and sadness.  I will be there tomorrow morning," Cas had spoke calmly, but firmly.

Dean had sighed, "Thanks."

The two men hung up their phones without another word uttered.

Cas walked to the bus station, bought a ticket and got onto the bus that would lead him to Dean.  Dean needed him, and he knew that, even though he had a grace again, he needed Dean.  But his problems didn't matter right now, his friend was hurting.  A tear rolled down the angel's cheek as he thought about Kevin, about how it was Sam's hand that had caused his death, about how it wasn't even really Sam.  Cas knew that Dean would be beating himself up, thinking it was all his fault, how if he had not let that angel enter Sam Kevin would still be alive.  Cas understood Dean's motives, though, that he did what he had to do.  He just wwanted to get back to the hunter, tell him that they'd figure something out and get Sam back.  He just wanted to be back with Dean.

* * *

"Cas!" Dean cracked a small smile as the angel walked over to him at the bus station. "It's so good to see you, man!"

Without caring what other people might think, Dean pulled the angel into a big bear hug.

Cas awkwardly hugged the hunter back, he knew he needed this comfort, and, to be honest, it felt good to hug Dean.

"I always come when you call, Dean," Cas repeated the words he had said a few years before. "Even if you try and protest and it takes me longer to get here."

 "I know I said you didn't have to come, but I really am glad you did," Dean broke the hug and softly stared into the angel's deep blue eyes. "I buried Kevin last night.  I know I should have gave him a traditional hunter's funeral, but I just couldn't bring myself to light him on fire.  I couldn't do it."

Dean wiped a tear from his cheek with the back of his hand.

"It's okay, Dean," Cas placed his hand on Dean's left shoulder, tenderly. "We can always do it later, together."

Dean swallowed as he continued to stare into Castiel's eyes.  He coughed as he straightened up and adjust his shoulders, "Okay, well, let's get back to the bunker than."

The two men climbed into the impala and drove all the way back to the bunker in silence.

* * *

The days and weeks passed Dean and Cas by.  The poured through every book in the library, trying to find someway of saving Sam and expelling Gadriel, but, so far, they've had no luck.

"I fucked up this time, Cas," Dean collapsed on one of the couches. "I really fucked up."

Cas walked over and sat down in the nearest chair to the couch, "You didn't fuck up, Dean.  You did what you had to do to save your brother.  You had no reason to believe that this was really Gadriel in disguise.  Neither did I."

"But, if I hadn't have tricked Sam like this, then Kevin would still be alive right now.  Because of me and my selfishness he's dead," Dean covered his face with his hands to keep the angel from seeing him cry.

Cas moved down to the floor, kneeled right beside the couch, reached out and grabbed Dean's left hand, pulling it down, "You're the least selfish person I know, Dean.  You did what you had to to save your brother.  You always have and you always will.  This is just who you are."

Dean lowered his other hand and rolled onto his side, looked up into the angel's face and reached his right hand out to grab onto Castiel's left arm.  Dean didn't say anything.  He just lay there, holding onto Cas as he cried.  He hated letting the angel see him like this, but he couldn't stop his tears from falling.  He'd never cried like this before, at least not as long as he could remember.  He remembers crying about his mom, shortly after her death, but his dad had told him he needed to stay strong for Sammy.  

Cas gripped Dean's left hand, squeezing it tightly as he moved his left arm and grabbed onto Dean's bicep, Dean now gripping Castiel's bicep.  

The men stayed like this, in silence, for a few minutes before Dean sat up, shaking his head and drying his eyes with his hands.

"Sorry, dude, don't know what got into me," Dean gruffed as he stood up and turned in the direction of his room. "See you in the morning, Cas."

"Dean," Cas got up and stood behind Dean, had on the hunter's left shoulder. "You don't need to apologize to me.  I understand.  You can cry as much as you need to, I'll always be here for you."

Dean gulped, "I know, Cas. I know."

Cas spun Dean around until the two men were face to face, "You told me twice you needed me.  I didn't realize it then, but I need you too."

"Cas, I don't want to talk about the angel war right now.  I'm tired.  I just want to go to bed," Dean rolled his eyes.

"No, I don't need you for that.  Well, I do, but this isn't about that," Cas sighed as he stepped a little closer. "I need you.  I simply need you.  When I'm not with you there's something missing inside of me.  I can't explain it.  At first I thought it was hunger, but no amount of food makes it go away.  Nothing makes it go away.  Except for your presence."

"Not now, Cas.  You just saw me cry, that's enough of a chick flick moment for one moment."

"Yes, now, Dean.  We just shared a moment.  Another moment.  We've had plenty of moments, and if I don't tell you this now, after that moment, I never will," Cas placed both his hands on the sides of Dean's neck, tenderly. "I need you.  I need to be here.  I need you to need me.  I need to help you see yourself the way I see you, the way Sam sees you, the way Kevin saw you.  I need you to see that you're a good person who does what he has to do to make sure that the people around him are taken care of.  Do you make the right decisions?  No."

Dean coughed out a small laugh.

"But," Cas continued, "You make those decisions because you think they're the right ones in the moment.  You mean well and you do your best.  We'll figure something out to get Sam back.  I know in my gut there's a way.  I can heal people again, so I can fix Sam.  And then, then we'll deal with the angels and Metatron.  Once all of that's sorted out and dealt with, if it's okay with you, I would like to stay here.  With you.  Graceless."

"Gr-graceless?" Dean's eyes darted all over Castiel's face, taking in his expressions. "You want to remove your grace?  You want to be human?"

"If I can be here, with you, than yes.  I like being a human, even with all the flaws that come along with it.  And if I can stay with you, I think I would like it even more," Cas smiled slightly.

Unconsciously, Dean placed his hands on Castiel's hips, "I'd like that, Cas.  I'd like that very much."

The two men stood there, in the dimly lit library/lounge area of the bunker, holding on to each other and staring to each other's eyes.

"Well, I really am tired, so I should get to bed," Dean dropped his hands and stepped backwards, out of Castiel's reach. "Goodnight, Cas."

"Goodnight, Dean," Cas smiled as he watched Dean turn and start off towards his room.

Dean paused abruptly and turned around, "Um, you know, I, I, I really don't want to be alone tonight. D-Did you want to, um, watch over me?  There's a chair in my room you could sit on."

Cas smiled as he walked over and placed his hand on Dean's shoulder, standing directly beside him, but looking into his eyes, "I would like that very much, Dean."


End file.
